Thinking Out Loud

Click here for Part I I want to get my hands on LSD. What, no, not what you think. I meant a Liquid Soap Dispenser. Why are people so paranoid? Nowadays LSD needs LSD Why? People need LSD to dispense soap automatically because the surface of the LSD would be contaminated by germs But you would be cleaning your hands after you touch the LSD, wouldn't you? Hey man, don't look at me. I'm not the crazy one scared by bacteria So, two bacterias walk into a bar… No dude, bacteria is already plural; bacterium is singular Ok smartass, 2 bacteriums walk into a bar… You want some Smarties? NO, what's wrong with you? Bored, I guess Lost my train of thought there Better hurry up if you want to catch the last train at 2 Jeez, Louise! Ok then, you middle-class, suburban Midwest American from 50's movies/TV-shows That was below the belt! Ironic, you saying 'below the belt' Why? Last time I checked, you buried your balls in your backyard The door slams. I am left alone with ...

Did you know Walter Matthau was referred to as a half-melted rubber bulldog? Walter who? Oh shit! You don't know Matthau? You know from Grumpy Old Men? Hey, who you calling grumpy? Oh, never mind. Seems like most conversations I have end up as a monologue. Not all of them are about Walter Matthau, but still, wouldn't it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn't have to wait so long. No, stop going off on a tangent, I meant to say, wouldn't it be nice… oh, I lost it. I'm miles away and you say 'penny for your thoughts' and I say 'why, you have cash to spare?' I don't want to sound like an arrogant bastard, but they say sometimes that truths are more arrogant than fiction. Really? Who are "they"? You know, they, them who say "No, you won't be taxed on that" Really? Yes, and then you get hit with GST, VAT and BLT! Bacon, lettuce and tomato? No. breathing living tax! So, this is a duologue? Yes, as Noel Coward said… I know! Y...