Thinking Out Loud

Those who plan to take the intercity (A/C) train from/to Colombo/Jaffna, in future, please refrain from doing so. It may have started off great (what with the reduced travelling time) but I don't think they have cleaned the compartments from whence they started. There were insects (you name the genus; it was bound to be there) crawling all over the compartment and I tried my best to safeguard my belongings (I hope I succeeded). Don't even think about the snacks available in the canteen: they were open to inspection and a good frolicking by the abovementioned insects. If that won't deter you from the food, then the eating habits our good citizens would surely change your mind. Look, I'm not one to have social pretensions and look down on others (and I believe I have a strong stomach), but there is a goddamned limit that should never be goddamned crossed. I never visited the toilet, so in this case let's apply the Schrödinger's toilet thought experiment: The Co...

The phrase "சனியன் பிடிச்ச மூதேவி" harkens back to a time of growing up in வட்டுக்கோட்டை (mostly) and கட்டுடை. It's nowhere close to a swear word (or phrase) but it is so effective where the intended recipient(s) may never recover for years to come. Indian accent, in my most humble and honest opinion, can never match the viciousness (or passion, however you want to look at it) with which the word "மூதேவி" be delivered in the Jaffna dialect. In Tamil films, there usually is a stereotypical retort to மூதேவி: "சீதேவி" or "ஸ்ரீதேவி" (in the மதராஸி dialect, of course), thus rendering the word ineffective and relegating it to a lower, fragile rung in the comedic ladder. My least favourite planet was Saturn. Why? Because the word "சனியன்" is the colloquial term for சனி பகவான் aka Saturn. What if Saturn catches you? சனி பிடிச்சத English-ல சொன்னனாக்கும். Well, once Saturn catches you, you will have to endure more than what Annamalai had...

யாழ்ப்பாணத்திலிருந்து கொழும்பு செல்லும் பேருந்துகளில் தேனிசைத்தென்றலின் கானா பாடல்கள்தான் பிரபலம். He reigns supreme... More than ABS brakes. என்னதான் Canon photocopier என்று நானே கிண்டலடித்தாலும் அந்த தேவா-கானா nostalgia எப்போதும் மனதிலும் உதட்டிலும் ஒரு புன்னகையை வரவழைக்கவே செய்கிறது. "ஜிஞ்ஜினக்கா ஜிஞ்ஜினக்கா ஜினுக்குத்தான்... என் ஜீன்ஸ் பான்ட்டு மேல ஒரு கணக்குத்தான்." Besides, I identified with the character in the films that gave brotherly advice (in a song, obviously!) to the protagonist/hero... Usually played by தலைவாசல் விஜய். "கவலைப்படாதே சகோதரா" காலங்காலமாக காதல் ஃபெயிலியேர்சுக்கு (so-called soup boys) தெம்பாக இருக்குமென்று நம்புகிறேன். Deva was a great influence in my teen years. Correct me if I'm wrong, but he was undisputed in the 90's. His music alone drew crowds to the box office. It's great to reminisce now and again. "கானாங்கத்த மீனு வாங்கி..." Over and out.

ஜெயகாந்தன் எழுதிய சிறுகதைத் தொகுப்பு ஒன்றை மட்டுமே படித்துள்ளேன் என்பது மனதை உறுத்திக்கொண்டே இருக்கிறது. வெள்ளவத்தையிலுள்ள பூபாலசிங்கம் புத்தகசாலைக்குச் சென்று ஜெயகாந்தனின் புத்தகங்கள் ஏதாவது இருக்கின்றனவா என்று கேட்டேன். பல முழிப்புகள் முகம்மாறிக்கொண்டன. சரி புதுமைப்பித்தன் (அ) அசோகமித்திரன் (அ) ஜெயமோகன் புத்தகங்களாவது உள்ளனவா எனத் தயங்கியபடியே நான் கேட்க, 'என்ன கேள்விப்படாத பெயராச் சொல்லுறார்' என்று எங்கோ இருந்து ஒரு குரல் கேட்டது. பி.கு. யாழ்ப்பாணத்திலும் தேடி அலைந்து நொந்து நூடுல்ஸாப் போனதுதான் மிச்சம். பி.கு.பி.கு. கொழும்பில் சுஜாதா பிரபலமென்றால் யாழிலோ ஓஷோ, சாண்டில்யன் புத்தகங்கள் மட்டும் அடுக்கடுக்காக உள்ளன. என்ன ஒன்று, கல்கி சுஜாதா வைரமுத்துவின் புத்தகங்களை மட்டும் அள்ளி வந்துவிட்டேன்.

My great uncle, on his deathbed, breathing his very last, motioned me to come closer and whispered in my ear. (He could not speak and any speech was a whisper; I was rather unsure of what to feel of my great uncle's impending death. I was in awe of the guy but at the same time I pitied him - as Mr. T would - for dying alone, literally alone. You see, the rest of the family had gone out on a picnic leaving me to care for him, not that I cared for picnics but it stung a little, but for the last two days I was down with a strange fever, strange because I would be hot and bothered one minute and cool as a cucumber, the next. Also I'm not sure as to how I contracted the fever.) My great uncle whispered "Book 'em, Danno". For some strange reason he always called me Danno. What was he trying to say? I was told that people in love, let's call them lovers (the word "romantics" is too romanticised and if a cold hard cynic like me ever used that word, (s)he wou...

Go to: Part 1 | Part 2 Why should we not ignore religion? We have witnessed an extreme of religious fundamentalism in the September 11 attacks. Why regard the extreme? How about the moderate ones? RD argues that the majority of people who directly influence social policies and political procedures can be regarded as religious moderates who promote religion as a way of life and when this 'way-of-life' contradicts with another, we see incursion or at least unrest. Religion without resilient obstructions thrives and develops into fundamentalism, where humans sacrifice themselves for martyrdom. Martyrdom is mainly made possible by turning impressionable young minds against other religions/beliefs and the most alarming issue raised by RD is the indoctrination of children. One of the traits of human evolution is the children look up to the adults to fashion their lives which becomes dangerous when parents (try to) force their religious ideals onto their children (see Exhibit B: Jesu...

Go to: Part 1 I found an article (in relation to TGD) criticising science with the advent of the atomic bomb. Well, allow me to retort: why was the a-bomb invented in the first place? Where did it start? Did it not start with the bloody crusade of this one guy with a funny moustache who wished to avenge those who killed Jesus? Call me crazy, I'm just clutching at straws here. Science at the hands of humans can be used for good and evil. I have never seen or heard of any instance when rationalists declared war in the name of atheism. Albert Einstein who did not "believe in a personal God" had said "I believe in Spinoza's God who reveals himself in the orderly harmony of what exists, not in a God who concerns himself with the fates and actions of human beings". God as a 'soul' to the universe makes sense to me. It would be reasonable to assign an 'animus' to lifeless entities such as the sky or nature that accompanies humans throughout their li...

'Why should I care' was the general attitude I shared with my friends and peers when it came to religion. "It is pointless" usually put a stop to any theological discussion that cropped up. I believed that God would mind his business and just leave me alone. And then I read "The God Delusion" (TGD) by Richard Dawkins (RD). As the book has been reviewed by many erudite scholars with a greater knowledge on the subject matter, I dare not presume to write one of my own. The following rather are my observations, proverbial lit bulbs to think of a lesser example and the effect the book had on me. First of all, I am of the opinion that instead of placing our trust in a priest or a theological scholar or RD himself, we should use the power of independent thought to find out the existence or non-existence of God. RD has printed his opinions and we may use TGD as a tool to seek out the truth ourselves. For example, as RD has pointed out, this higher power that is God ...

Mondays determine my rest of the week. The events of the week and their outcomes depend so heavily on Mondays that I become a victim to Monday-bashing, also popularly known as Mondayitis. If I see and talk to no one on the way to work on a Monday, rest assured, it will be a week of birds-singing, dew-dropping, sun-shining, jazz-listening days of wine and roses minus Jack Lemmon and addiction to alcohol. On the contrary, if someone said something as harmless as "good morning" on a Monday, I blow my top and read Nietzsche or Dostoyevsky and blame everything on everyone and think about genocide, a lot. But, as the song goes, I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again as I cool down with a Red Bull (yes, it relaxes me; yes I'm weird) on the train which proves to be quite amusing at times. There is a story of how I drank a 473 ml can of Red Bull and fell asleep on the train, but that's a whole other story. I commute to work via train. Most of the days, I am...

"It's all over after Phuket" said my friend, "I am all sexed out". Some people may find this amusing, others not so. I belong to the latter category because my friend has been saying this for the last 5 years. That's right, five fucking years! Put aside the feelings of jealousy and read on. If I can write this, surely you can read it. Some background info on my friend. For those who don't know him, let's just leave it at that. For those who are familiar with him, you know that he has faults like other human beings, refuses to accept those faults like other human beings and juxtaposes those faults on his 'partners' so he can have a clean break-up once the sex is over and he is "sexed out". Like other human beings? I honestly don't know the answer to that one. When asked why he behaves like a bastard, he says "better to be a player, before being played, 'cos you are gonna get played, anyway". Hmmm, food for thought, ...

What keeps us going? What is our driving force? I have tried to search for that factor that is the driving force. What is it that drives me? Well, Scotch Whiskey is the driving force of my uncle, and it drives my aunt mad. Whenever I feel the urge to do something, I often wonder what makes me feel that way. Too much Red Bull and coffee or both may cause these drivinisms (or drivinations?) but they may also have side-effects of diarrhoea and insomnia (or both)? People have driving factors ranging from money, stardom to downright lunacy. Not me. I do not have any ambitions. Why should I have any ambitions? What if a Tsunami struck, the day I come up with an ambition? What then? I was about to make plans but the recent Queensland floods have made me a sceptic. Until I get a clear answer, I won't have an ambition. I'm not one of those, who plan everything ahead; well not planning in the long run anyway. I do not know what I will be in 10 or 20 years time. So what does that make me?...

I awake and contemplate a lone bird singing a tuneless song over a cup of tasteless coffee as the death of dew drops announce an unwelcome morning. A connection becomes lost in the vastness as I search in vain; compelling dreams of constant darkness. I want to forget the night full of cold kisses from warm lips; the smooth satin covers your figure and I shiver. Caring, loving eyes full of hatred as your frozen smile has torn me to shreds as each piece of my broken heart reflect our wonderful, not-so-wonderful life together. I die every moment, thinking of you the ghost of a future life I wake up to die again your love was poison, so was it remedy I abide by the laws of this land of disbanded memories as I am free to be chained, trapped in a maze, in labyrinths, in caverns and I find the lost souls that roam the hills and fall madly in love where the spiritual lust is pure as the driven snow. Lost but never finding a solution nor do I want to as my search ends where my life begins and I...

I want to get a sense of self as I look back on 2010 and the effect the past 12 months had on my life. This year I moved into my brand-spanking, all-new, heavily-mortgaged house, turned thirty, experienced the biggest travesty in Thamizh Cinema history and battled (battling) depression. More on that later; maybe not. My life has been a series of accidents; wherein others (or normal people) plan their lives, I have been carried by the flow of life; where the wind blows and other related figures of speech. I have been leading a pretty normal life, give or take a few bouts of craziness. I have found myself asking the question (yes, THE question), "what's the point of life, anyway?" and think about it for thirty minutes and having come up with zilch, realise I have gained nothing on the thirty first minute and have a five-minute-breakdown of pointless ponderings and mindless mutterings as life seems to go on around me. I visually become distressed as the above mentioned ques...

Honoured guests, vice principal, lecturers, and dear friends. It is a great honour to address this particular gathering. Families and friends, on behalf of the graduates, I welcome you. First, I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate my fellow graduates on their academic accomplishments. We have learnt worked with dedication, which we have put in to obtain a degree from PIBT. Please let me remind you, behind these awards lies the great saga of, help from the lecturers hard work and dedication Support from family and friends God's grace (for those who believe), and most of all couple of weeks of not going to the nightclubs in Northbridge I would like to recall some good and not so good memories I've have had during my life at PIBT. The lecturers - they have been remarkable and have provided us with exceptional knowledge and wisdom. They have worked beyond their powers so that we can succeed in our academic endeavours. Although we hated you because of the lack of sle...

I don't know why it happened. I wanted to read a report before I got to work, so while waiting for the train, I decided to give it a try. There was a slight breeze that day, which didn't bother me, but on the contrary was quite refreshing. I was feeling a positive vibe among the people waiting for the train when my mind wandered off after reading few pages (the report was quite tedious) and suddenly, out of nowhere, a disturbing illusion took over me. For some reason, my fingers had gone numb and the papers were yanked out of my hand. I saw the papers flying out on to the road and creating a multiple-vehicle collision that cost many lives. I cannot help but watch, in dismay, as limbs and torsos were scattered all over the freeway and blood rushing forth in a never-ending stream. I started to panic and immediately put the report in the file and the file in my bag and made sure the bag was firmly closed shut. I was not sure if others noticed, but I had started to sweat profusely ...

Gather around, kids. Let me tell you the story of the day I took an umbrella to work. Sounds tedious, doesn't it? Well, let me tell it anyway. Allow me my few idiosyncrasies and I will try to lead a normal life. I was watching the weather report, not because I cared for it but the reporter was too pretty and I couldn't bother to switch channels, and I heard the words 'rain' and 'tomorrow' and for some reason these two words stuck with me, so, the next day I got out of the house with my umbrella. Now, people who know me would know that I never take an umbrella even in torrential rain. I wait for the rain to stop and then go or I would just call in sick. I like rain as I think one day a big rain would come and wash the scum of all the streets. That's right, I am Travis Bickle and De Niro portrayed me before I was born, but, I do not want to get into that surreal contemplation; that's a completely different story. On the train to work, as I was about to sit...

Surprised was I when I realised the train had arrived on time today. Many a time have I heard the frustrating automated voice of Transperth announcing the delays of buses and trains due to extreme weather conditions. The extreme weather conditions, of course, would refer to the slight drizzle which would have lasted for two minutes at the most. So what were the odds of the train arriving on time today after the heavy downpour yesterday all night long? Baffling, it is, as Yoda would say. Segueing into my thoughts as I grow tired of the clichéd feeling of people sitting inside, besides a cosy fire or electrical heater, with a hot beverage watching the rain. Why should you not go outside and enjoy the rain? Life becomes magical for a few moments when my inner cynic dies as I cherish and embrace life. Usually these magical moments do not happen; you will have to create them. But, sometimes nature provides you with the euphoria and if you are able to accept the simple pleasures, then life w...