Moving On

I was never one for the "back-in-the-days" type of discussion. Yet I found myself talking exactly that when a friend came to visit. I find it hard to live in the past even though I often think of "what-if" scenarios; what would have happened that would have changed the course of my life. By way of a "for instance", what if I had won a million dollars in 1996? Is that usual? I believe that everyone, at one point in their lives would have thought of "what if". Is this a sad state of affairs in our lives? Do we always dwell on the fantasies to escape from realities? I do; not always but when the chips are down, but I try and solve the situation, accept the reality and move on.

There was a period in my life when I could not move on. Whenever I got into a fix, I would think of all the negative situations I have faced and I would have a very heated internal conversation with the higher powers that be. I felt sorry for myself (I would validate this point by thinking, if I don't feel sorry for me, who will?) Did I believe in God to accuse God? Therein lay my hypocritical view of theism. I would only think of God when I was in a bind. How many theists thank God for all the wonderful things in life? It is best to move on from blaming God for our mistakes. I believe God is an entity/feeling (I can't decide which) best left alone for others to deal with while I try to grab hold onto the daily rush of my life. I am neither theist nor atheist. I just choose to sit on the fence on this topic.

While a theist may argue that the God is a sculptor who moulds humans from blocks of stone into beautiful sculptures, atheists may argue that God is into sadomasochism (if God exists). We suffer to become who we are; if there were no suffering in the world, it would really become boring, wouldn't it? What if there had been no suffering in the world since the inception of humans?

I am reminded of a quote from the "Third Man": "In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love; they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock." Ah, Harry Lime, you wonderful cynic.

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